“Grief Etiquette 101”

A Golden Opportunity

When death occurs, we can console the bereaved…or not. At funeral homes and churches, we can give genuine comfort to the family. We can also offer well-meaning but misguided attempts to help.

John Wesley told the Methodists, “First, do no harm.” If you can’t improve a bad situation, at least don’t make it worse.

Proverbs 17:28 (NIV) supports this idea: “Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues.”

The Bible says Job’s friends heard about his horrific loss of family, possessions, and health. At first, Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar came and sat with Job silently for a whole week (Job 2:11-13). But they ruined everything when they opened their mouths and tried to explain his suffering.

“Are You Trapped?”

How Will The Story End?

They were trapped. A large body of water blocked them from advancing. Behind them the rumble of horses and chariots grew steadily louder as the enemy gained ground.

They couldn’t go forward.

They wouldn’t go back.

How would they possibly escape to freedom?

Conflict is key in any story. Facing huge odds, will the main character(s) find a way to overcome, overpower, outwit? How will the hero or heroine break free? Or will the enemy ultimately triumph?

Conflict is vital to a page-turner. It builds suspense to keep our interest.

Conflict is fun in fiction, but not in real life. When the obstacles and the danger are real, nobody likes to feel trapped.

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The Exodus and the Cross

(A special thanks to Steve Duer for sharing the following image and giving me permission to use it.)

After the Passover, Moses led the Israelites out of captivity in Egypt. But Pharaoh stubbed up yet again and sent his army to capture their former slaves. As the Egyptian army raced closer, the Red Sea halted the advancement of the Israelites toward the Promised Land of Canaan (Exodus 14).

God’s people were trapped.

Before them:  impending death by water.

Behind them:  impending death by soldiers, either to their bodies or their freedom.

Moses lifted his staff and stretched out his hand. God parted the Red Sea and the Israelites crossed on dry ground to the other side. When the Egyptians tried to follow, Moses stretched out his hand again. The waters returned and submerged all the chariots and soldiers.

God provided the path to freedom.

After the disciples celebrated the Passover with their Lord (the Last Supper), Jesus was betrayed, arrested, and tried. He was flogged and nailed to a cross. As the dark forces thundered louder, Jesus’ crucifixion halted the advancement of God's kingdom on earth.

God’s people were trapped.

Before them: impending death of Jesus on the cross.

Behind them: impending death by sin; the wages of sin is death (Romans 6:23). 

Easter morning, some followers found Jesus' tomb was empty. Christ showed up to confirm the truth of the resurrection. Life returned and submerged sin and death.

God provided the path to freedom.

Making the Impossible Possible

When circumstances leave us trapped, there is always a way out with God. Jesus can make a way where there is no way. Nothing can ultimately triumph against the Holy Spirit.

With God, slavery and death don’t have the last word. Freedom and life do.

What reactions--including hope--does this stir up in you?

David

“Why I Need Ash Wednesday”

Crossing the Line

It happened when I was seven.

My brother and I were riding bikes when he tired of me tagging along. At ten, Brian was allowed to do something I wasn’t: cross Harbor View Road. I could ride anywhere in my neighborhood, but not across that busy two-lane road.

Brian pedaled into the next subdivision to be alone for awhile. Unwilling to accommodate, I crossed the boundary set by my parents. I stubbornly followed my brother across Harbor View Road.

Immediately he turned around, so I also made a U-turn. I was so focused on keeping up with him that I broke the cardinal rule of crossing a road. I neglected to look both ways before crossing Harbor View.