“The Wrong
Time to Ask the Right Question”
The Wrong Time
We were
talking about their crisis. As the conversation continued, I began to ask, “What if?”
What if I’d
done ABC instead of XYZ?
What if I’d
gone HERE instead of THERE?
What if?
What if? What if?
“What if?”
is great when it's asked at the right time, but lousy when
asked at the wrong time.
And this
was the wrong time. Why?
The Right Time
“What if?”
is like money. On its own, it is neither good nor bad. How we use it determines whether it is positive or negative.
“What if?” is the right question
at the wrong time when we look backward.
The past
is gone. Asking “what if?” while staring in the rearview mirror will lead us
down the road of regret. Discouragement arises and intensifies when we dwell on
what can’t be changed.
“What if?” is the right question
at the right time when we look forward.
The
future is ahead. Asking “what if?” while staring through the windshield will
open up new paths of possibilities. Hope arises and intensifies when we dwell
on what can be changed.
Will we remain
stuck and spin our wheels by asking “what if?” about our past?
Will
we gain traction and zoom forward by asking “what if?” about our future?
And how
long will we delay asking “what if?” about today and tomorrow while we lament
the amount of time we spent asking “what if?” about yesterday?
What
other questions can you think of that are great at the right time
but lousy at the wrong time? What if you were to post them in the
comments section?
David
Your analogy of the rear-view mirror vs the windshield is a great one, David. You make the dangers of walking through life looking in the rear-view mirror so clear. You are a master at analogies!
ReplyDeleteMy hang-up is "Why?". Why did I... Why didn't I... Why did...happen? When I use the question "Why," to keep my focus on the past, it robs my joy.
But "Why?" can lead to a teachable moment when we turn to God, open to hear His voice. It also can point us to opportunities in the future. I've stepped into many a fascinating experience because I asked, "Why not?". When God calls us, we can stand, buried in the past, if we focus on the 'whys' of yesterday instead of the 'why nots' that lead into tomorrow.
Thank you, Sherry. "Why?" is natural response to heartbreaking tragedy. However, eventually we must move on. And like you said, why? / why not? can open doors that would otherwise remain locked. With God, all things are possible.
DeleteWhat if? as a question always gets a bad rap and when asked at the wrong time is one of the most painful and blocking questions around. But to use it to look forward. I love this. Thank you for this perspective. Blessings.
ReplyDeleteTina, I appreciate that. I love how you pointed out it is a "blocking" question, because when facing backward, "what if?" blocks us from moving anywhere at all.
DeleteI say "what if" a lot! Going both directions. God can do a lot with the forward what ifs that lead us to try new possibilities. The other way just makes you feel bad...should-a, would-a, could-a. Enjoyed your post today!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Ginger. I've said "should-a, would-a, could-a" too many times. No matter how many times I replay the tape, the ending never changes.
DeleteDavid,I join Tina in thanking you for this perspective and yes, with God, all things are possible!
ReplyDeleteDee Dee, thank you so much. I'm glad it was helpful to you. Amen that all things are possible with God!
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