“Help Pastors Wear Their Oxygen Mask”

Aviation Advice

Ministers sometimes hear this advice: “If you’re on a plane and the cabin pressure changes, put your own oxygen mask on before you try to help others. You can’t take care of others very long unless you care for yourself first.”

Church shepherds are often reluctant to wear an oxygen mask. Biblical commands to love others and sacrifice for God ring constantly in their head. It’s tempting to risk fainting from burnout later to avoid upsetting any sheep now.

However, self-care isn’t selfish.

You and I can’t give what we don’t have.

For clergy leaders, self-care is actually the most loving thing they can do to ensure their long-term ability to serve God and others.

Jesus regularly pulled away from the crowds in order to pray and rest. Shouldn't pastors also imitate Jesus like this?

“Be Yourself”

A Shared Calling

“Be yourself.” How often did you hear that advice growing up?

Our heavenly Father calls you and me to become the individual He made us to be. Psalm 139:14 declares, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb” (NIV). God fashioned each of us uniquely while creating us all in His image.

We use our gifts and talents to make a living and a life. We use our abilities and passions for work and play. However we spend our time, talents, and treasure, our overall calling is to be who our Creator intends us to be.

After college I joined a CPA firm. The Myers-Briggs temperament test indicated I was ISTJ, a personality type well suited for accounting. Perfectionism drove me to complete each task on my “should do” list. Dot every i and cross every t. Task-oriented options attracted me and open-ended choices repelled me.

But God didn’t create me to crunch numbers for a living. I became a CPA only because all my advisers suggested it. They meant well for me, but my heart was never in that work. Strange but true: during seminary I “slaughtered the oxen” like Elisha (I Kings 19:19-21) and my file was marked Deceased at the Tennessee State Board of Accountancy in Nashville.

A few months ago I completed Myers-Briggs again. This time, I believe my true self emerged. ISFP types are designed for creative work like composing. Composing words to write and speak offers the creativity and flexibility I need to thrive while being myself. It also explains why I loved writing and delivering sermons, but church meetings, visitation, and politics drained me dry.

An Open Door

Before I took a sabbatical and then officially exited the United Methodist clergy system, in prayer I sensed the Holy Spirit whisper, “I would rather you go run a lemonade stand with joy than to keep pastoring with gritted teeth.” God would prefer I sell lemonade and bear the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) than to keep serving a church without any joy, peace, or patience.

Ministry is supposed to be an honor and a privilege, not a prison sentence.

 John 10:10 tells us Jesus came to offer us life “to the full” (NIV), “abundantly” (NRSV), “more abundantly” (KJV). Dr. Cynthia Ackrill is a physician who works as a speaker, leadership coach, and stress expert.[1] She once asked me, “What do you want? What do you enjoy? If money wasn’t an issue, what do you love doing so much that you’d do it for free?”

The answer is…

I needed to ponder Dr. Ackrill’s questions for a season. Jesus gave me room to discern how abundant living would apply at this stage of life. This is what I currently think.

God made me to write.

And to speak.

And to dialogue one-on-one.

And to act in community theater and church drama.

And to play or coach rec league soccer.

And to work with the children at church because they need male role models.

And to learn how to play the bass guitar.

And to be an attentive husband and father, a dependable son and brother.

I love doing what God made me to do, not what others think I should do.

“Be who God made you to be.” I regret not learning this years ago. But I’m thankful the truth has set me free for the rest of the journey.

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[1] For more information about Cynthia Ackrill, MD, and her work through WellSpark, see www.wellspark.com. 

David

“Crock-Pot Living in a Microwave World”

bothers me. But not for the reason you may think.

The big four-oh really freaks out some people. They dread the prank gift of black balloons. A cake with forty candles triggers a bout of depression. No matter how the culture defines middle age, if our average lifespan is 75-80, then at 40 one has crossed life’s midpoint into the second half.

Yet advancing age isn’t the issue. It’s the biblical meaning of forty that unsettles me. When we see that number in the Bible, we should think “mega-size test” or “long, slow preparation.” 

For example, Jesus was baptized and then “was led by the Spirit into the wilderness, where for forty days he was tempted by the devil” (Luke 4:1b-2a, NIV). Definitely a colossal test.

Also, Moses went up on Mt. Sinai to receive the two stone tablets containing the Ten Commandments. But that transaction was way too important for God to say, “Good to see you, Moses. Here you go, one tablet for each arm. Have a nice trip back down.” Moses needed to be completely ready. “And he stayed on the mountain forty days and forty nights” (Exodus 24:18b, NIV). An extended season of preparation.

A Cooking Analogy

At lunch when I don’t have a sandwich or a salad, I usually use the microwave. I put in the food, zap it a couple of minutes, and I’m ready for ESPN or the local news.

Some mornings my wife Mary Ethel puts soup or a turkey in the crock-pot so it will cook slowly all day while she’s at work. When she comes home, supper’s ready. On those days, at noon I can’t press an “Add 30 seconds” button to finish the job. Even if I flip the switch from Low to High, the process must continue a while longer.

  

Sometimes we land in a spiritual wilderness amidst a 40-day story. God lets us face a major test. He brings us to the end of ourselves so He can prepare us for what’s next.

Forty-day stories require perseverance to endure a season of extended preparation. We not only don’t know what or where our next assignment is, we also don’t know when we’ll know this information. We have no clue when our path will suddenly lead from barrenness to abundance. Some 40-day stories take months or years to finish.

  

When God’s crock-pot tests my patience and my faith, I can count on three things:

1.   Jesus must finish preparing me for my next assignment.

2.   Jesus must finish preparing my next assignment for me.

3.   When Jesus completes #1 and #2, then -– and only then –- will the 40 days end.

The following are some of the things you and I wait for in God’s timing:

·       Someone to date or to marry. (Happy Valentine’s Day)

·       A pregnancy or an adoption.

·       Meaningful work that provides income and/or satisfaction.

·       The right housing situation. 

·       The return of a prodigal.

·       To be accepted or chosen.

·       Healing.

·       Forgiveness.

·       Justice.

·       Reconciliation. (Includes both forgiveness and justice)

This week I began a literal 40-day story. God nudged me to write a prayer He wants me to pray daily for the next forty. This must be from God because it’s not the kind of prayer I’d willingly pray on my own, but deep down I know it’s for my own good.

I still don’t like crock-pot living in a microwave world. Yet I am amazed at what God accomplishes for me and in me; and then, after the wilderness waiting is over, through me.

  

David

“What Will Be Your Legacy?”

Super Reflections

After Seattle beat Denver 43-8, some fans are questioning Peyton Manning’s legacy. He is a five-time MVP. He set additional NFL records this season. But in the Super Bowl, Peyton is 1-2. Despite elite talent and taking his team to the playoffs annually, #18 has only hoisted the Lombardi trophy once. Younger brother Eli, with less regular season success in his career, has done it twice.

I’m not bashing Manning. He didn’t snap the ball for a safety on his team’s first play. He didn’t give up a kickoff return for a touchdown to start the second half or fail to block Seattle’s defensive line all night. The whole team played flat at the worst time of the year. And Seattle is no cupcake. They earned the right to play in the Super Bowl. Sunday night, they merited a decisive win.

What About Us?

In a culture obsessed with winning, where bottom line results are all that count, #18’s track record will be tainted if he fails to win another Super Bowl before he retires. Crazy, isn’t it? Winning one Super Bowl isn’t enough. A quarterback must do it at least twice to forge the proper legacy.

Some talking heads believe this; I don’t. Does his father Archie deserve less respect just because he never played in a Super Bowl? Whether Peyton wins another title or not, his legacy should be secure.

Set free to soar on my journey, I wonder how this not-yet-published writer will be remembered. I don’t possess Peyton Manning’s name recognition. Most of my town couldn’t pick me out of a lineup. But does this mean I’m a failure just because no one gives money to charity every time I holler, “Omaha!”?

In her recent blog post at “The Write Conversation” (01/24/14), Edie Melson wrote, “Publication isn’t the sole definition of writing success. Touching someone’s life through the words I pen, whether it’s on a blog or a book or an article, is way more important than a book contract.”

I like Edie’s quote. I posted her words near my computer as a reminder about genuine success in the writing world. Of course I want to be published someday. But in the end, the sole indicator of success is neither the number of books published nor the number of Super Bowl wins.

  

One popular definition of success is commonly attributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882), though Bessie Stanley may have written it in 1905. The quote ends as follows:

To leave the world a bit better,

Whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.

Jesus’ definition of success is counter-intuitive. “Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Mark 10:43-45, NIV).

The ultimate prize awaits those who obey Jesus. “Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!” (Matthew 25:21 and 23, NIV).

Servanthood + Faithfulness with what God has given us

= True success in God’s kingdom.

NFL records and book contracts are good. Super Bowl trophies and best-seller awards are better. But the best legacy of all is to hear Jesus say, “Well done!”

David