“Still Ministering”

Blazing New Trails

“Do not go where the path may lead;

go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

I was the first to leave. In April 2013 I became the initial United Methodist Church clergy to exit ordained ministry via its Voluntary Transition Program (VTP). Not wanting a heart attack to take me out early, I said, “No more. Jesus already died for the church. Why should I?”

Though relieved after turning in my credentials, I also mourned. I had invested 20 years of my life as a United Methodist minister. Did what the Holy Spirit accomplished through me during those two decades justify the tremendous price I'd paid? Only God knows for sure.

I left the pulpit but not the church. Some former pastors don’t attend church anywhere because they're so hurt and disillusioned. On my first Sunday back in the pew, I worshiped at a friend’s church. Today I’m an active lay member at a nondenominational church near my home.

Unrealistic Expectations

I left partly because I never learned how to brush off undeserved criticism. I reached my limit of people whining when I failed to meet their excessive demands. “God is available 24/7/365; as God's ambassador, you also should be available around the clock, even on days off, holidays, and vacations. The needs of the flock should always take priority over the needs of the shepherd. We pay your salary, so you should be our spiritual and congregational butler.”

Not all parishioners felt this way; many members tried to respect my time and energy. But enough folks believed this to make it a problem. How do I know? First, they called on my days off, holidays, or vacations. Second, when I put my needs above theirs and didn't come running like an ambulance, the complaints I heard and the negative body language I saw revealed their true attitude. 

No standards exist which clarify when a preacher truly has done enough.

I also left partly because I never learned how to set healthy limits for myself. All my life the strong conscientious bones in my body pushed me to excel at whatever I tried to do. As an ordained minister, I thought the Sovereign of the universe deserved an elite effort. But I couldn't respond to every need. I crossed three items off my list and five new obligations jumped on there. When was it okay to stop for the day? What was okay to let go completely?

No standards exist which clarify when a preacher truly has done enough.

 The core reason

The ultimate reason I left was to fulfill my true purpose in the priesthood of all believers.

I embraced the VTP mainly because in 1991, God called me to serve outside the church. After seminary, for 17 years respected leaders who liked me made my appointments. Yet the institution ignored my nontraditional call by continuing to cram my rectangular shape into its round pulpit slots. These leaders weren't bad or mean. They simply did what they had always done. Institutions are flustered by special cases because that means change. 

Contrary to popular belief, not every call from God to ordained ministry is permanent. Mine extended for a long season but not until retirement.

Why must the church always be the last stop instead of the first step?

If God can call a 45-year-old farmer to preach full-time,

why can’t God call a 45-year-old preacher to farm full-time?

I surrendered my credentials but not my call. I didn’t turn my back on the Lord’s will. Instead, I left church ministry to start fulfilling God’s true purpose for me.

David